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 | Slugger Set to Start on Alternative Workout Regimen Friday, December 7th, 2029 Dave Parker has been terrorizing pitchers for years now. One would argue that whatever workout routine the slugger has been adhering to has paid off in spades. Well, everyone except for Parker himself. The 6' 2",215 lbs pound 3B announced this week that he would be embarking on a brand new exercising routine. One that forbids almost any sort of physical exertion. Said Parker, "Guru Habanjasang has come up with what I think will be an effective workout philosophy." When asked about the lack of actual exercise, he replied, "Yes, that's part of the program. Technically, I shouldn't even be running the bases any more, but we've agreed that was an acceptable exception." The Twitterverse exploded with opinions when the announcement was initially made. Smith has issued only one tweet since - #Guru Habanjasang knows all. |   |
